Poison Ivy's booth and part of the bar at the Iceberg Lounge were decorated with what looked like high school banners announcing a football game. "Go Query! It's your birthday! It's your birthday!" "Push! Push! Push the baby home!" and "Yay, Query! Go, Mama! Go mama!" the signs read. Obviously Harley had found a roll of butcher paper and paintbrushes. A sign on the outside of Ivy's booth read, "Place offerings to the Goddess Query here." Under the sign was a stack of pink and blue wrapped gifts of various shapes and sizes. Dee winced at this as I helped her down the few stairs into the bar.

"Two hours, Eddie. Two," she griped quietly to me.

"Q! Ya made it! Look at you! Boy, you look like you swallowed a beach ball!" Harley said, bouncing over to us.

Dee's fingers bit into my arm as she cast a wary glance around for the Joker. Thankfully the clown was nowhere in sight. "Harl, it's good to see you too." She let go of my arm and stood on tiptoe, kissing my cheek. "Go have a couple drinks, Eddie. I'll be ok."

I watched as she carefully fitted herself into the seat that had been placed at the outer edge of the table for her. The living curtain of vines closed over her and the chatter of female voices started up. The word 'marriage' drifted out. Frowning, I turned and walked over to the bar. Almost immediately she leaned back out along with Pam, Harley, Selina, and Roxy.

"Eddie?"

"Yes?" I asked.

"Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah?"

I nodded and smiled. "Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah, Q."

"Told you so," she said as she disappeared again.

"Excited, Eddie?" Harvey said when I sat down next to him.

"I've barely had time to think about it," I lied. I was really excited. Dee's due date was coming up fast. "I suppose I am."

"Look at you. Retired and gone straight. I never thought I'd see the day," Penguin said, waddling up to the bar. "How does it feel to be running a successful, legitimate business?"

"Excellent! We don't have to worry about money or anything. Hard not to think about some of the jobs I could have pulled in the past few months though," I sighed. That was the one thing that continued to bother me and made me feel guilty. I missed the excitement and action of a night of crime. Batman had been right though that last night. I had responsibilities now and I couldn't do that.

"That's a shame, Eddie. We heard there was a special showing of antique puzzles coming to town next month. Very rare," Jonathan said, sliding into a seat. He grinned at me in a way that sent a chill up my spine.

"Yes, I know. I heard all about it. Russian and Middle Eastern, fourteenth century." The note of bitterness in my voice surprised me.

"So what's stopping you? She'll have had the kid by then," Two Face said.

"Yeah. It isn't like she'll realize you're gone before it's too late anyway. She'll be so busy with the kid, she won't have time for you." Jonathan pushed a scotch at me. I eyed it warily as he said, "What do you have to be afraid of?"

What did I have to be afraid of? Losing everything I had worked so hard for in the past few months, for one thing. Dee. I could lose Dee. She'd leave me if I took another job, I was certain of it. Leave me, cut me out of her life for good, and never let me see her or the kid ever again. The Triad would make certain she disappeared without a trace.

"Hey, puzzle boy, wake up," Two Face said, punching me on the shoulder.

"Sorry, I was just thinking," I said, shaking myself out of my thoughts. Calling the bartender over, I ordered some food and drink, blatantly ignoring the scotch Jonathan had offered me. From the way he was acting, he had probably laced it with something.

"I could have those items acquired for you, Edward. For a fee, of course," Penguin offered.

Of course he could. But the point of obtaining the goods on my own was part of the reason the items meant something to me. In the future I could look at them, remember the good times I had, and have a good story to go along with them. What fun was it to point to something and say, "See that? I bought that." Ooo. Exciting.

"Thanks, Oswald, but I think I'll let the puzzles be," I said, tipping back a shot of whiskey.

"Now you're starting to worry us," grumbled Two Face. His bulging eye looked at me before rolling up. "Domesticated."

"It's respect, Harv. She's losing out on this too when it comes down to jobs. Do you think I would let her go out ever again now?" I shook my head. "Think back to Gilda. You loved her and you cared for her. Had she done what Dee did, you wouldn't let her go back out there either."

My food came and I ate in silence, while Harvey spun his coin across the backs of his fingers. Brushing the breadcrumbs off my suit front, I looked at the other two. They sat quietly sipping drinks. Jonathan was still trying to push the scotch on me. I finally had the bartender take it away and bring me a Coke.

"You're right," Harvey finally said. "I wouldn't have let Gilda go back out there. If either one of you had someone you loved, you wouldn't allow it either. I'm proud of you, Eddie. It takes balls to do what you're doing."

Grunts came from Oswald and Jonathan. They didn't get a chance to say anything as the voice I feared to hear filled the bar.

"I heard there was a party going on here tonight. And it looks like it's true! Forgive me for being late, but I just didn't have a thing to wear!"

"Oh shit," I said, practically knocking my chair over as I got to my feet. "What the hell is he doing here?"

"It's 'Just Jack'," Jonathan said framing his face and laughing.

I threw a severe glare at him, shutting him up instantly. The Joker came down the stairs, looking like a preening peacock. Throwing his arms wide when he saw me, he pulled me into a hug. I went rigid with anger that he had the nerve to show up.

"What's the matter, daddy? You look grumpy!" Clapping and rubbing his hands together, he looked around. "Where's mommy dearest?"

"Leave her alone, Jack," I finally said.

"Puddin'! We're over here!" called Harley, leaning out of the vines.

Stupid bitch! I snarled to myself.

Dee suddenly pushed through the vines in a hurry. Her form wavered between half feline and human. I could tell she was scared, but her fear was overpowered by the anger she showed. Finally her shifting stopped and she remained human. The stance she took was reminiscent of one she used to take when she was about to attack, thrown off only by her bulging belly.

"There she is! Come and let Uncle Joker give you a hug!" he said walking toward her.

"Back off!" she hissed.

"Quer, it's just Mr. J," Harley said stepping out of the booth. Ivy, Selina, and Roxy joined her. I was happy to see that Harley was the only woman pleased at the appearance of the Joker. "She's just teasin', Mr. J!"

"No, I'm not. Stay the fuck away from me!" she growled pulling a gun from the jacket she wore. She pointed it straight at him, holding the weapon with both hands.

Oh shit, oh shit! When did she take that from me?! I thought in alarm. I had locked all of my guns in the safe a couple months ago at her insistence. No matter that I had one on me tonight anyway, but I hadn't even noticed the other one missing when I took mine. Though I had taught her to handle firearms, she still wasn't very good with them.

The look on the Joker's face turned from good to bad. His grin got wider and his eyes darker. "What's the matter, pussycat? You look as grumpy as daddy here. Eddie, control your woman or I will," he said turning to me.

"No, Jack," I said pulling out my own gun. I leveled it at his head. "You're not wanted here tonight. Please leave."

Silence had fallen over the bar. While I kept my eyes on the Joker, I could see Penguin's men gathering at the edge of the bar. Pam and Roxy had restrained Harley who was attempting to get to Dee. Selina took a couple steps away from the struggling three and watched with cool eyes from behind Dee. I was aware that Penguin, Harvey, and Jonathan were standing behind me.

"Q! What's your problem! Puddin' only wants to say hello to you!"

"Stay out of this, Harley," Selina said. "Jack, I think you should leave. You're obviously putting stress on Dee that she doesn't need right now."

"Stress? I'm the funny one here! I relieve stress!" he chortled, taking a step toward Dee.

She fired a warning shot at him, her face contorting into pure hatred. "Take one more step and I swear to Buddha I will blow your fucking head off!"

Harley shrieked and tried to leap at Dee. "No! Don't shoot my Puddin'!"

Roxy and Ivy held the clown girl firmly, telling her to calm down. Dee looked ready just to shoot Joker on principle. He hadn't even flinched at the bullet whizzing past him. Instead he laughed, grabbed the flower on his lapel, and squirted acid at her.

Infuriated as Dee almost fell over getting out of the way, I shot him. I could have killed him right then and there, but for some reason I let my aim drop and shot the flower off his lapel, and then shot him in the arm. Before the report of my gun died, Harvey tackled Joker to the ground and punched the clown in the face. His nose gushed blood as he cackled, trying to shove Harvey off. The bouncers surrounded the clown, hauling the ex-DA off and back as they shocked the clown with taser guns. Harley went hysterical then and broke free.

"Look what you made them do to my Puddin'!" she screeched in Dee's face, tears streaming down her own face.

The fight went out of Dee then. Selina hurried to Dee's side and took the gun from her. Dee now sank into the seat Ivy pushed under her, one hand across her belly, the other shielding her eyes as she cried. Pam put her arm around Harley and led the furious clown back to the booth. As I hurried over to Dee, I put my gun away.

"Blow your nose," I said softly handing her my handkerchief. She took it and pressed it to her eyes. "Thanks, Selina," I added as the woman rubbed Dee's back.

"Sure, Eddie," she said handing me Dee's gun.

She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around my waist and putting her head on my stomach. I shook my head as I lay my hand on Dee's head.

"I'm sorry about that, Oswald," I said when the man waddled up to us. He looked upset, and who could blame him? The polished wood floor of the bar was bubbling with acid, half his customers had been scared off by the scene and gunshots, and now he had to deal with an unconscious Joker. "I'll pay for the damages."

He shook his head. "Jack will be paying for them. I thought he had given up going after her. Has he been bothering you at home?"

Dee's crying had settled down now and she pinched my back under my jacket. I knew she was telling me not to say anything about her nightmares. "No, he hasn't. And he obviously hasn't forgotten about her. We were hoping he wouldn't show up today."

"I'm sorry he ruined your party, Dee," Penguin said.

"I think he's jealous. Probably been kicked in his shriveled dick one too many times by Batman and now he can't get it up, let alone hope to get Harley pregnant," added Selina with a smirk.

Dee giggled against my stomach before sighing and looking up at me. "Can we go home, Eddie?"

"Sure, Kitten. We can go home." I helped her up and found her overcoat in the booth with Pam and Harley. "Thanks for giving her a party, Pam."

"Of course, Eddie. Someone has to make certain the girl gets some attention."

"Of course," I said dryly. "Harley, I'm sorry about Jack, but did you forget about Christmas? You should have known better than to tell him about this tonight." I pinned her with a glare.

"Puddin' wouldn't hurt a fly!" she said, beginning on one of her "he's just misunderstood" tirades. Another glare from me and she went still. "I'm sorry, Eddie. Red told me the same thing."

I nodded my thanks to Ivy who returned my nod with one of her own. She was the only one that could really control Harley when it came down to it. Saying my goodbyes to the two, I went to get Dee who was now apologizing profusely to Oswald. He assured her that he didn't hold her responsible for what had happened. With the help of a couple of his bouncers, we managed to get all the gifts Dee had received out to the car. She looked exhausted as I buckled her in.

"Did you at least have a good time to begin with?" I asked as we drove home.

"A little. I'm not certain what they were thinking when they gave me some of those gifts though," she frowned, reaching into the backseat and pulling out one of the boxes. She held up a pair of delicate lace panties and a matching bra. I nearly choked as she held up more of the skimpy underwear. "Baby shower, not bachelorette party. What the hell am I going to do with this stuff?"

I coughed then. What the hell was she going to do with it? "You could always wear it," I said. My voice cracked at the end like a teenager.

"Get real, Eddie. I'm too fat for this."

Parking the car, I helped her out. "You're not fat, you're just very pregnant. Give yourself a month and you'll be able to fit into that stuff."

"Why? You won't be finding me very attractive after watching me push this kid out," she said as we walked into our room. She sat on the end of the bed, slipping her shoes off and rubbing her feet.

I went quiet as I tugged my tie off. Tossing my hat onto the dresser and hung my jacket up. "Actually, Kitten, I'm more worried that you won't find me attractive or have time for me."

Her arms wrapped around me from behind and she pressed her face to my back. "Oh, Tiger, I'm sorry! I've been thinking about me so much I didn't stop to consider you would ever feel that way." She kissed my back as she stroked my chest and belly. "I know the kid is going to be a handful, but I swear I will set aside time to be with you if you'll do the same for me. I haven't stopped wanting you or finding you attractive since...well, forever. You were my first real love and you're my last."

Turning around, I looked down at her. "You'll still want me after the kid?"

"I'll still want you when you're a wrinkly old man shaking his fist and question mark cane at the world." Stretching her arms around my neck, she pulled me down for a kiss. I was surprised by the ferocity of it. It was then that I knew she meant what she said. "If you help a woman fat with your child bathe, I'll give you a massage after," she purred enticingly.

With a grin, I nodded and let her lead me into the bathroom.
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