*Note: The character of Mr. Kittlemeier originally appeared in the short story Neutral Ground by Mike Resnick in the short story collection Tales of the Batman.



Fitting In:

Dee found herself shuffled off to a dark little shop by the Riddler. He told her he had managed to secure a two-hour appointment after hours with the man who owned this shop. What was so special about it, she didn't know. The place looked as antiquated as the building. The interior was run down and the few shelves in the shop were bare. A counter and a turn of the century cash register were the only things in the front room. Closing the door behind them, the little bell attached to it jingled, bringing a bespectacled old man from behind the doorway covered with a dingy curtain.

"You're on time as usual. This is the girl?" he said by way of greeting.

"Yes. Her name is Query. Query, this is Mr. Kittlemeier."

Dee inclined her head to the man. "Pleased to meet you."

The old man merely snorted softly and waved them to the backroom. "Let's get this started. What does she need?"

"A full package. Costume, weapons, shoes, and a few dresses wouldn't hurt," the Riddler said.

Dee was mildly put off by the reception. Was everyone going to be this rude to her?

"The usual costumes, I take it?" Kittlemeier said, writing out his list.

"No. I had something else in mind, if that's ok with you," said Dee.

Pulling from her bag a sheaf of printouts, she handed them over to the man. Eddie attempted to peer over to see what it was she had printed out. He had wondered what she was doing on the computer for so long. Kittlemeier flipped through the papers quickly.

"The circled ones?" When she nodded, he continued. "Very well. I will need to get your measurements and take a few casts for some of the items."

She nodded, feeling self-conscious once more.

"I have some other errands to run. I'll come back when you're done. And you have my items ready for me?" the Riddler asked.

"Yes. I'll have them packed up for you and waiting when you return. Now go. I have work to do and it won't get done with you here," he said, shooing the other man out.

The soft tinkle of the bell told Dee that Eddie had left the shop. Kittlemeier returned after locking the door and immediately began his work, starting with measurements. He was silent for the most part, telling her only to raise or lower her arms, or when to stand and when to sit. When he asked her to remove her shoes and socks for foot casts, he became more talkative.

"Leotards don't agree with you?" he asked.

"Not really. Too aerobic fad for me. Besides, they're ugly and I think that if I'm going to be wearing a costume, it might as well be something I would want to wear."

He nodded his agreement. As he worked, he asked her for specifics in what she wanted in the way of materials. When she showed him the bag that she used for jobs, he agreed to make her a new one with a few adjustments. The bo staff she had, while still in perfect working order, would be copied so she would have extras.

"We will make these," he said, pointing to the shiruken she held, "in his theme. Will that be alright with you?"

"Depends. How do you mean?"

He quickly sketched out two different views of the throwing star. One had the center as the point of the question marks.

"The edges will be sharp," he said, indicating the largest curve of the punctuation.

The second sketch was of the question marks with the points on the outside. He indicated that these would be sharp and pointed. Nodding her agreement, he then showed her the assortment of other weapons she would be getting. Dee mentioned nothing to him of the explosives that she would be using, nor of the fact that in most cases she preferred to use her claws and fangs if things got to that point in a fight.

"Have you any particular dress styles you want?" he asked when he had finished with the last cast.

"Nothing too fancy. I'm fond of Asian dresses with the high collars, but that isn't a requirement. With what I've given you for the costume ideas, I'm sure you can see where my taste leans."

Kittlemeier nodded. "Still, I will send some ideas over to you before I make anything," he replied, scribbling notes down on his pad. There came the sound of an old electric buzzer as he finished his last note. "That will be Mr. Nigma come back for you."

"Thank you for this," she told him.

He waved her to the front room. "It's what I do." Unlocking the door, he let the Riddler back in. "Here are your things. Two suits, one pair of gloves, and a half dozen new masks."

Eddie handed over a wad of cash and took the brown paper wrapped parcel. Nodding his appreciation, he escorted Dee out of the store.
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