Meeting the Joker, or Showing a Little Too Much Fur:

"Don't you ever let me catch you coming in here with that thing again, Jack!" the Penguin said, poking the clown in the stomach with the tip of his umbrella.

The Joker stood in the middle of the bar, drenched from head to toe, frowning as he clicked the trigger on his flamethrower. His lower lip trembled when the weapon refused to light. Dee, her hair and dress wet and smeared with the charred remains of plants, had tucked herself up against the Riddler's side, sipping a peppermint patty. Harley sat on a stool, frowning into a rum and coke. Ivy stood next to the Penguin, fists balled at her side, ready to deck the clown. Dent and Crane just stood and observed.

Harley had landed across Poison Ivy's lap as she dove into the booth to hide, oblivious to the fact that Dee was in there. As soon as the clown had made it into the bar area, he had stalked around, calling out "Ollie, ollie, oxen free!"

"Shh! Don't tell him I'm in here!" she begged, pressing herself into a ball at the back of the booth.

"Like I would, Harl," Ivy said, dipping the still smoking tassels into a glass of water. "What's he up to this time?"

"We were just out for the night seeing what we could find to roast! After a coupla henchmen and a poodle went up, he fired at me!" Harley blinked. "Who're you?"

"This is Query, Harl. Eddie's new girl. Now pay attention before you start on fire!" said Ivy, tugging at the scorched collar.

Dee gave a shy wave at the clown girl as Ivy dabbed water onto certain spots of the collar.

"Hey! You've got question mark jewelry on! I'll bet you're the girl Eddie's been mooning over lately!"

Both Ivy and Dee gave each other quick glances before they heard the cackle again.

"Pammy! Knock knock! I believe you have something of mine," the Joker said, shoving his head through the vines. He frowned at the sight of Dee. "You're not Harley! Who are you?"

Without waiting for an answer, he saw Harley. Squealing, she ducked under the table. Before the Joker could lunge for her, the vines took hold of the flame wand, also wrapping themselves around the Joker's head. Attempting to rid himself of them by shaking his head violently, he roared and pulled back. The vines let go of him and he stumbled back into the bar, snarling. Raising the flamethrower's wand, he giggled, sending a tongue of flames at the booth. Shrieks were heard as the vegetation began to catch fire.

The Riddler bellowed out the Joker's name and readied to beat the clown over the head with his cane. Dent and Crane quickly grabbed a hold of the Riddler and held him back, knowing things would only get worse if they allowed Eddie to hit the clown. At that moment, a wave of water came at the clown. The three at the bar turned to find the proprietor, the Penguin, along with an army of bouncers and buckets. Quickly the men threw buckets of water on the flaming booth, extinguishing the flames.

As the water hit the booth, dousing the flames, a hissing streak of fur burst out. To the disbelief of all at the bar, the creature (which was now clearly a cat) leapt onto the bar chair nearest the Riddler, onto his shoulder, and scrambled into his jacket. Had he not remembered Query's ability, he would have been jumpier at the sudden appearance of the feline than he was. As it was, he had to gently work the girl's claws out of his shirt and flesh.

"What the...?" began Two Face as the Riddler revealed the wet ball of fur. "Where did the cat come from?"

Shaking, Dee hissed at the bifurcated face that peered at her. She was uncertain now of who would pose a threat to her and who wouldn't. Eddie had no idea what to do, having never seen her in full feline form, nor this angry.

"Calm down. You're fine," he said, placing her in the chair next to him. He quickly ordered her a hot drink.

Chest still heaving, she changed back, furious at not only having her new dress ruined, but at having water thrown on her. Like any feline, she abhorred getting wet if it wasn't by her choice. Two heavily muscled bouncers grabbed the Joker and hauled him over to the Penguin. A bouncer stayed to help the women up from the floor, apologizing for the state they were now in. Harley and Ivy looked around, wondering what had happened to Dee. They were surprised to see Dee sitting at the bar next to the Riddler. The other two men looked at their drinks, then at each other, trying to figure out if one had slipped something into the drinks.

"So that's why she's called 'Kitten'," the two men mumbled, pushing their unfinished drinks away.

"I would like nothing more right now than to claw that clown's eyes out," she hissed under her breath as the bouncers escorted the Joker out of the Iceberg Lounge. Hearing the declaration that the man had merely been banned was not to her liking.

"My apologies, Miss...?" the Penguin said as he came over.

"Query, Mr. Cobblepot," she said. Dee wanted to cringe as the man took her hand and placed a wet kiss on the back.

"Oswald, my dear. I'm sorry that your first night in my club had to come to such a head as this. Please, your drinks are on the house tonight." He turned to the Riddler and spoke as if Dee were not standing right there. "The rumors were true, then. Charming girl, Eddie," he said, turning to go talk to the irate Poison Ivy and the sulking Harley Quinn.

"I think I'm going to go home," Dee said, putting the remains of her drink on the bar. "Stay if you want."

"No, I think I've had enough for one night." Eddie tipped his hat at Two Face and the Scarecrow. "Another night, gentlemen," he said, taking Dee's arm.

"Nice meeting you," Two Face said.

The two men watched Eddie and Dee leave, the girl dragging the soaked wrap behind her.

"It's a shame things had to get wild tonight," Jonathan said. "Though it is a good thing Hugo wasn't here when she did that cat trick."

Two Face grunted, and Harvey replied. "You're telling us." The voice became gruffer when he added, "All the pussy comments he could come up with. We could come up with! Eddie's found himself a new pussy!"

The two dissolved into giggles of childish delight as they went back and forth, each making a new comment.

~ ~ ~

"Sorry about that."

"It wasn't your fault. You wanted me to meet your friends. How would you know that one of them would take tonight to try to turn his girlfriend into a candle?" she said, wrapping his jacket tighter around herself as they walked to the car. He had tossed the remains of the shawl into a garbage can, handing his jacket over to her as soon as they were outside.

"One should always expect that with Joker. We'll have Kittlemeier replace the dress," he said, pulling her to a stop. He picked a blackened twig out of her hair and tossed it to the ground. "I guess I really ruined things tonight, didn't I? And now everyone knows about your being able to turn into a feline."

Dee shrugged and rested her head against his chest. "I don't think it was ruined. I've never had a night out that exciting. Plus, they were going to find out sooner or later, weren't they? Neither of us could've kept that a secret forever."

"True," he sighed. "Let's get you home so you can get cleaned up."
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