Since seeing Tangram at Eddie's feet, Vanessa had stopped her little game of footsie. Meals were pleasant enough, save for the fact that I had to look at her highly painted and vacant face.

The meeting was far more enjoyable with her missing from the scene. Both men came back to give glowing reports of their findings on the shells. Henry was more than happy to agree to the final price that Eddie had spoken. Once the money was transferred, we were all dismissed to get ready for the party planned for tonight.

I shook my head as I followed Eddie back up to the room. It certainly must be nice to have enough money to buy hot merchandise, and then follow that purchase up with a large party. At lunch, there had been far more people at the chateau than there had been at breakfast.

First thing when I got into the room, I ducked into the bathroom for a quick shower to freshen up for the party. It also gave me an excuse to avoid Eddie. When I was finished, he took his own shower as I got dressed and fixed my hair. Once more he put on a suit that made my mouth go dry just looking at him. I wanted to tell him how great he looked, but my pride was too great at the moment. Instead I twisted my hair up and put in the enameled hair sticks with dangling question marks. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I smoothed my hands over the fabric of my green silk China dress, embroidered with question marks.

"Wow... You look... Fabulous," Eddie said when I was finished.

"You look nice too," I replied, not giving him full attention as I crouched to put on Tan's leash.

"Seriously, Kitten. Can't we stop fighting for a while?" When I didn't answer, he repeated his question.

"I'm sorry, were you talking to me?" I asked, adding in a bitter voice, "I'm just your bodyguard, remember?"

He sighed. "Fine. If that's how you want to play it. Tonight your orders are to not let Vanessa lay a finger on me. Understand? You're to be directly between us at all times when you need to be. Tangram, when it comes to dining."

I nodded. "If you are ready to go down?"

"Yes. But we're doing it the way I want," he said, hooking my arm in his.

I didn't protest as we made our way down. The hall and ballroom were filled with people already, a live band playing soft music. Eddie took champagne from one of the trays, offering a glass to me. I sipped it slowly, waiting for the vulture to circle and land. She did so quickly.

"You look wonderful, Edward!" she said, stopping a foot away when Tangram got in front of Eddie. A dollar hooker would have turned down the dress she was wearing. I knew that it was supposed to look elegant with its low back, and the cutout over her breasts, but Vanessa's embellished body made it look trashier, if that were possible. "Oh, Edward. This is an important party. Couldn't you have left that thing in the room?" Her eyes flicked over Tangram, and then me, making it clear I was included.

"I'm sorry, Vanessa," began Eddie.

She brightened, interrupting him with a hopeful smile. "Then you will send it back?"

"On the contrary. Wherever Query goes, Tangram goes."

"But you do not need a guard tonight. Of all nights, she should have this one off!"

How diplomatic of her. To thank her for her remarkable show of diplomacy, I refrained from throwing my drink in her face.

"This is the night when I need her the most, Vanessa. With so many new people around, it's better to be safe than sorry," he said, taking a sip of his champagne.

"Very well," she said in a tone that meant the exact opposite. "But you still haven't told me what you think of my dress. I chose it special when I heard you were coming."

"Oh, it's very nice. You look good."

She pouted. "Good? Certainly a man with such a large vocabulary as yours can come up with a better description than good," she said shamelessly fishing for a compliment.

Sure. Slutty, trashy, whoreish, nickel hooker, skanky, smutty, gaudy...

"Ah, Edward!" came Henry's voice as he strolled up to us. "You look wonderful tonight, and your bodyguard looks ravishing! There have been many inquiries as to who she is."

"Thank you, Henry. You look wonderful tonight as well," I said, allowing him to kiss my hand.

The look on Vanessa's face could either have melted the ice caps, or brought on the next ice age, depending on how one looked at it. She cleared her throat, getting Henry's attention.

"Oh, Vanessa, you look... nice tonight as well, my dear," he said as an afterthought and as if he were trying to keep from saying something else. He was saved by dinner being announced and he hurried to get to his seat.

Eddie was actually polite to me tonight and sat me before seating himself. I mumbled my thanks as he sat down, draping my napkin across my lap for me.

"Don't forget your orders tonight, Q," he whispered.

"Don't let her lay a finger on you. I know. It'll be hard with the table between you two," I replied. What I didn't say was that I was going to take him very literally. Fingers, not toes, feet, or any other part.

"Fine. We'll be having a talk after dinner, and I expect you to dance with me. You will go along with what I say should she try to ask me to her room again, ok?"

"Yes..." I paused as he glared at me, daring me to call him something other than Eddie. "Sir," I finished, not caring. What was he going to do? Take me over his knee and spank me? I dared him to try.

He sighed, and then joined the conversation. I paid only enough attention to know if I needed to join in or not. I smiled as Tangram finished his meal, squishing himself under my chair, and then wrapping a paw around my ankle before falling asleep. Shortly thereafter, I noticed Vanessa "drop" her napkin and bend to pick it up. Personally, I was amazed her breasts stayed in her dress with that maneuver. It wasn't ten seconds before Eddie asked me a question.

"How's Tangram?" he asked softly, attempting to be sly about his actions.

"Sleeping. He's fine though."

"He isn't doing his job. Her feet are all over me again."

I glanced at Vanessa who was chatting with Henry. "Well, you said to make certain she didn't lay a finger on you," I said, holding up my hands and wiggling my fingers at him. "Fingers."

Snorting, he said, "Any part of her. I want none of her touching me!"

"As you wish, sir," I replied.

Gently I roused Tangram, giving him orders with a combination of hand signals and whispered key words. On my order, he took one of his toys over by Henry. With a bat of his paw, he sent the little ball skittering under the table, diving after it. Vanessa shot up from her seat, shrieking like a banshee.

"That beast was at it again!" she cried out.

The entire dining hall went silent in time to hear Henry say, "What are you talking about?"

"It's you! You horrid little child!" she seethed, turning on me, ignoring Henry. "Ever since you came here, you've been trying to harm me!"

"Now hold on just a second!" I said, not getting up, but giving her a glare that made her shrink back a bit. "How have I tried to harm you?"

"With that horrible fleabag you brought with you! I know you sent him under the table to attack my feet!"

"Tangram? He was under Mr. Nigma's chair playing with his toy. I saw him bat it under there," I said. Tangram had put his front paws on my lap, and was staring over the table at Vanessa, unblinking in a cool feline gaze.

"I know where he was! My feet were there..."

"Under Mr. Nigma's chair?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her, coolly stroking Tan's head.

"They... My feet were..." she stammered, uncertain of how to reply. Instead she turned to poor Henry. "You should not allow your guests to bring filthy, vicious animals to the table, Henry! They shouldn't be allowed in your house at all!"

Henry looked somewhat confused as Tangram trotted up to him, rearing up onto his hind legs and waving his front paws at Henry. "Tangram isn't vicious. He's just a baby and playful, that's all."

"Tangram wouldn't bother your feet, Vanessa, unless you were waving them around. Then he likes to play, but he never uses his claws or teeth if he does that. Besides, they would've had to have been stretched out quite a ways for him to bother with your feet."

"How many times must I say that I was stretching my legs!" she snarled. It made her look so much more attractive, especially now that her hair was tossed about and she was blotchy red in the face.

To his credit, Henry took her by the arm and pulled her back into her seat. "Please, Vanessa. Let's just drop the subject. You are unharmed. The little tiger is no danger to you. Let us sit and finish dinner peacefully, hm?"

"Personally, I don't think he would've attacked your feet, if he did attack them, unless you had raised your feet high. Lap level would be about the height that he would find a foot attractive as a toy. But you couldn't have had your feet that high, could you, Vanessa?" I asked, unable to control the urge to push her when it would be so easy.

Silence filled the hall as Vanessa glared at me from across the table. Finally she answered. "I do not need to answer anything to a repugnant child such as yourself. Edward, how could you bring such filth into this house? The least you could do is hire a bodyguard with manners."

Eddie harrumphed at that. "I do not hire filth, Vanessa. And as with all my help, I do not have any reins on her. She says what she will, even to me. When she goes to far, I will let her know."

"So tell her now!" demanded Vanessa.

"I'm sorry, Vanessa, but I try not to rebuke my employees in public. It's bad form, and does nothing for either side."

"Then I'll do it for you!" she said, leaning across the table. "You are a horrible little wretch who has the manners of a pig!"

"That's very nice of you to say. I'll remember that next time I need advice from a two bit..."

"Enough," growled Eddie under his breath. "Both of you, enough! Vanessa, sit down and finish your dinner! You too, Query." He turned to Henry. "I apologize for this. It won't happen anymore."

"Not at all, Edward. Please, everyone back to the meal." In a soft tone, which I only just caught I heard Henry say, "We will discuss this later."

~ ~ ~

"You're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you?" Eddie asked me when he took a walk outside after dinner.

"Me? How would I do that?"

"That... fiasco called dinner. Fighting with Vanessa."

"Oh, like I started that! You're the one that said to keep her from touching you. Don't blame me for the methods I have to use to carry out my job! You could always grow a spine and tell her to keep her slimy Frog flippers off of you. I'm sure she would listen to you." The last words were dripping with sarcasm.

A sigh escaped his lips as he paced back and forth. The soft night breeze ruffled his hair and blew his warm scent to me. It took all my effort not to audibly sigh in longing as I looked at him and smelled his body. When he pivoted and came closer to me, it became harder to hold back nuzzling into his side for a cuddle.

No! He's acting like a moron! Do not give into him until he apologizes properly! I knew I shouldn't have had anything to drink. Alcohol just made me all the more susceptible to his slightest charm.

"I should have told her from the moment we arrived that you were my girlfriend. All of this, this fighting between you and her... Hell, the fighting between you and me could've been prevented. I could have been cuddling you in bed last night instead of a pillow." He looked me straight in the eye. "Dee, I don't need Henry and Vanessa as enemies."

"I don't think you need to worry about Henry. He seems about as fed up with her as you are with... Well, I don't think you need to worry about her. She'll never hate you. You know what she wants, and she's enjoying the chase. What exactly is her position in this house, anyway?" Other than on her back, legs in the air?

"Personal assistant, nothing more. Yes, I know exactly what you were thinking, Q." He stood for a moment, looking down at me. Before he could say another word, Vanessa called out to him from the balcony. He sighed again, and then motioned me to follow him. "We'll finish this in the room." Reaching the steps to the balcony where Vanessa was, he looked up at her. "What is it, Vanessa?"

"Come inside and mingle, darling! Have a drink and dance with me!" she said, holding out a glass of wine.

Eddie nudged me to retrieve the wine for him, which I did, sniffing the contents as I brought it over to him. I gave him a look of warning as I quickly wavered my shape in the dappled shadows of the garden. The wine had an odd smell to it, bitter and acrid, smells that wine should never be. A strange white residue clung here and there inside the glass. He acknowledged my warning with a nod as he took the glass, pretending to take a sip.

"Delicious, Vanessa."

"It's from my private supply." She noticed me standing silently by Eddie, holding the leash of a very obedient Tangram. "I see you've had a few words with that horrible brat. Enough to set her right for the time being."

I opened my mouth to make a jibe at her, only to have Eddie say, "What occurs between Query and I is strictly our business. Personally I don't know how I got along without her in the first place. I realize that you don't like her, but for my sake, would you say no more of your opinions of her?"

She looked down on me the way Cinderella's evil stepmother must have looked at her. It was obvious she had gone off and had far more than a little bit of wine before showing her face again. "As you wish, darling. Now come inside and mingle."

Eddie obliged her, following her in, but staying far enough away that she couldn't touch him. Discreetly he emptied the wine as we wandered through the party being introduced to any number of people. She practically hit him over the head with the suggestion that he ask her to dance the longer we were around her. Vanessa was plenty annoyed when Eddie finally said, "You know, I think it's time I danced this evening." He smiled at Vanessa, and then turned to me. "Dee, would you care to dance?"

The lift of his eyebrow told me not to argue, but to accept. I handed Tangram's leash over to the nearest waiter, who gladly took him from me. I think the man was pleased enough to see the steam coming out of Vanessa's ears.

"Very nicely done," said Eddie as he spun me onto the dance floor. "Are we through fighting now?"

"Fighting? What would ever give you the idea that I was fighting with you, sir?"

"Mmhm." He worked us over toward the band. I grew suspicious when he whispered something to the bandleader, who smiled widely and nodded.

"What was that all about?"

"That? Nothing." He chuckled as he spun away from the band as the song ended.

The next song started up, and I looked up at Eddie. "Oh no you didn't!" I said, trying to pull away from him.

Quickly, he pressed me firmly against him as the opening strains of the tango started up. "You will dance this tango with me unless you want to make a huge scene and watch me dance with her," he said, nodding to where Vanessa stood watching us.

Setting my jaw, I allowed him to lead me through the steps. To my utter embarrassment, the party guests formed a circle around us and the few other couples that were joining in the tango. An apology was not going to be enough this time.

"Two to tango, Ed... Sir. Not three."

"Ah! You were going to call me Eddie! And there is only two of us dancing, my dear," he said, purposely dipping me and running his hand down my body in full view of Vanessa.

"Perhaps only two dancing here, but three dancing elsewhere. She isn't going to leave you alone, even if you do dance with me instead of her. Tell her who I am."

"And who are you?" he asked, spinning me out and back.

"You know damn well who I am, despite your penis being the head doing the thinking on most of this stop over. Was she a flame at one point? Did you go out with her? Did you sleep with her?"

"Definitely not," he said, haughtily. "I would never sleep with her. She isn't my type."

"'Next to her cheap silicon I look minimal
That's why in front of your eyes I'm invisible
But you gotta know small things also count
You better put your feet on the ground'" I muttered, singing the rest of the song in my head. How appropriate I found Shakira's "Objection" song. And how ironic that it was set to a tango. Even more ironic that I was thinking of my breasts as small, though compared to Vanessa's, they were.
Next / French Tart Main / Back