When I returned to the room, I took a long shower, scrubbing myself down more times than I could count. Never had I felt so dirty in my life! My skin was red by the time I pushed past an inquiring Eddie and flopped onto the couch, cuddling Tangram as I fell into a deep sleep. All I had told him before I fell asleep was that Vanessa had been shielded in view.

The next morning I felt refreshed as we walked down to breakfast. Eddie scoured the walls, I guessed in hopes of finding Vanessa. He looked askance of me a few times, but I refused to answer. Food was what I was interested in, not talking about that foolish trollop.

"Ok. I give up, happy? Just tell me where she is," Eddie whispered, sipping his orange juice.

I smiled and rolled my eyes up at the ceiling without turning my face up. Eddie's eyes followed. He was left choking and sputtering into his orange juice.

"How did she get up there?" he whispered furiously.

"Are you ok, Edward?" Henry asked, patting Eddie on the back.

In response, Eddie pointed discreetly up. I couldn't have asked for a better reaction. Henry looked up and saw Vanessa attached to one of the old shields, trussed up like a Christmas goose. A very scantily clad Christmas goose. The negligee was all she had deemed worth to wear when she returned to the room last night, and I had not let her change.

With a loud, booming voice, Henry said, "Vanessa! What are you doing up there! Come down this instant!"

Once more I got to delight in a perfect reaction as the other guests all looked up. Stifled giggles could be heard around the table, as well as a few bursts of loud laughter. Henry called for two male servants to bring her down safely. Before she was untied, Henry pulled the gag from her mouth, asking who had done this to her. She was so shaken she seemed to have forgotten that Henry knew who had done this to her.

"Edward's guard!"

Calmly, Henry turned to me. "Is this true?"

"Yes, sir," I replied, standing.

"Why would you do this? Did she offend you?"

I wanted to throw my arms around the old man's neck and give him a kiss. "Last night, sir, I caught her sneaking into Mr. Nigma's room for the second time. She also tried to drug him with a laced glass of wine last night," I explained, acting as if Eddie had nothing to do with it.

"Is this true, Vanessa?" Henry asked, playing clueless very well. He must have had plenty of practice with Vanessa in his employ.

"She is lying! She attacked me for no reason!"

"Tell us then," I said, "why you're dressed the way you are, and why you came into Mr. Nigma's room that way? And why, when he twice refused your offer to go to your room for 'negotiations,' did you continue to try? Shall I tell everyone what you were doing to yourself in front of him in the hallway the other night?"

The onlookers held their breath, waiting for her to protest.

"Have you nothing to say in your defense, Vanessa?" Henry asked.

Classic and typical defense of the empty headed twits: Vanessa burst into tears.

Henry shook his head. "Very well, I have no choice but to let you go. You know my rules about fraternizing with clients, willing, or in Edward's case, not. You will go upstairs and pack your things. I will give you until tomorrow to get out of my house." He turned and walked back to his seat. "And for heaven's sake, put some clothing on!"

When Vanessa was led out, Henry asked everyone to be seated and finish breakfast.

"Who helped you get her up there?" he asked.

"No one, sir. I acted on my own," I replied.

"Query, tell the truth. I do not like to be lied to!" Henry prodded.

"Henry, when it comes to something like this, she doesn't lie. I wasn't exaggerating when I said she was a wonderful bodyguard."

"But it took two men to get her down! You are just a slip of a girl!"

Eddie put a hand on his arm. "She has her ways, Henry. I could no more stop her from carrying this out. She insisted upon punishing Vanessa in a fitting way. Jealous girlfriend," he added.

I didn't see it, but I had a feeling that Eddie had given Henry a wink.

"Of course. Nothing worse than a jealous girlfriend. And since our business is completed, Edward, you are welcome to stay around if you wish."

"We have to be going soon, Henry. You know I would stay if I could, but I'm expected in Germany this evening."

~ ~ ~

"Now can we say we're done fighting?" Eddie asked once we were back in the room.

I shrugged at him as I took Tangram's collar off and ruffled his fur.

Eddie grunted. "Ok, then how about you tell me how you got Vanessa up there by yourself?"

"With a little help from my feline half."

"Dee! What did I..."

"Give it a rest. She was passed out. That woman is about as tough as a rotten banana. One round of peek-a-boo and she was out cold." I demonstrated my version of peek-a-boo, covering my face only to reveal fur and fangs when I uncovered it.

"Incorrigible. That's what you are, Dee Lemma." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

Pushing him back, I wagged a finger at him. "You still haven't earned the right to kiss me like that. You never learn, do you?"

"Teach me."

I snapped the book I had in my hands shut. Turning, I stepped over to the couch. Eddie grabbed me from behind and hauled me to the bed where he pinned me down. We stared at each other, each waiting for the other to make the first move.

Say sorry. Go on. Say it, Eddie. Tell me you're sorry for treating me poorly and not caring for me properly since we got to France. Tell me how much you love me, and why you love me. Stop staring at me and speak!

"Take my handkerchief," he finally said, letting go of my right hand.

I pulled it out, only to have something fall on my chest. Craning my head, I tried to see what it was. Shaking my head, I gave Eddie a disapproving look as he placed his hand over my right breast where the object had fallen. He simply smiled as he lifted his hand. A tiny, silver question marked charm dangled from his fingers at the end of a chain.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"An apology. I was thinking of getting you some tiger lilies, but they don't travel well. There's also something I wanted to ask you."

He was not going to ask me what I thought he was. He had better not!

"While I might sometimes feel contrary to this belief, I am certain that you do love me, and that you will remain faithful to me. However, I'm wondering what I can do to get you to feel the same."

He sat up, still straddling me as he pulled me up with him. He took the necklace and fastened it around my neck. I reached up to touch the question mark that floated in the hollow of my throat. Eddie caught my hand and kissed the question mark before kissing my hand and pressing it to his chest.

"I could swear to you up and down that I'm not interested in anyone else. You went and got that tattoo. I think that says a lot. A strange way to say it, but I don't expect anything normal with you. So what can I do? What can I say? Do you want me to ask you to marry me?"

Immediately I shook my head, looking shocked, even though I had expected him to say something like that. "No, Eddie. I don't need to be married. I'm not the marrying kind, and neither are you, so let's not kid ourselves, ok? Marriage is for people who want to settle down, raise a family, attend PTA meetings, and be normal. We're none of that."

The look on his face was a bit hurt, a bit relieved. He didn't want to marry me, and I knew that.

"Look, when I was growing up, I knew that Li Mei and Jiaoshu were lovers. I also knew that they weren't married. They still aren't, and they never will be. Why? Because that little piece of paper does more to ruin couples and it doesn't make any couple more bonded without it. Jiaoshu and Li Mei have a good life together without that little piece of paper. I look at them, and that's what I think I would like in my life. Think about it, Eddie. Would us getting married really change the way we feel about each other? And would the courts even allow us, two escaped mental patients, to legally wed?"

For a moment, he considered my words, and then shook his head. "No. It wouldn't change anything. But if you did want to marry, would you marry me?"

"Only if you felt it was the right thing to do, and if you really wanted it. I'd be happy just to be your concubine." I paused, smiling up at him and taking his chin in my fingertips. "How about this? There's a song by Prince. I'm not too fond of the original, nor am I a big fan of the purple wonder. My favorite version is by a long defunct group, School of Fish. The song is called 'Let's pretend we're married.' And the lyrics... Well, the song is good, just so long as you don't pay too much attention to the lyrics."

"And people say that I'm confusing," teased Eddie. "Get to the point."

"You asked what you would have to say to get me to believe that you will be faithful. 'Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah.'"

"Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah? That's what you want me to say to you?"

I shrugged, smiling slightly as I removed his emerald tie tack. "Do you want to come up with something? It isn't the song rejoinder. It's the title of the song. Think of it as a way of expressing your feelings for me without telling everyone how you really feel about me. You think I'm oblivious as to how you want people to know they can't touch me and that I belong to you. Yet you act aloof and as if I don't matter to you. They aren't blind, Eddie. They know. But to soothe your ego, let's make it seem like you're pulling one over on them and use this code, ok?"

He now scowled at me, ready to argue against what I had said. When I grabbed the knot of his tie, and raised an eyebrow at him, his scowl turned into a forced look of frustration. "Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah," he said, trying not to smile.

"I thought so. Now I'm ready to move onto the next fight just to see how you'll apologize. The first time, you really did a good job with the mass of tiger lilies and a tiger cub. This time, a tentative marriage proposal and a necklace. What's next?"

"We will not be having another fight for a long time," he insisted, pressing me back to the bed with his chest.

"Silly man. Don't you know that arguments are the spice of a relationship? You're too fun to fight with." I lightly tugged his chest hair through his shirt.

"Ouch! You're violent, you know that? Why do you have to be so damn violent all the time?"

"Violent? Honey, that wasn't violent. If you want to see me get violent, then let's go downstairs and find that stale French pastry. This," I said, giving another light tug, "is called 'playfully frisky.' Don't you know what the definition of 'kitten' is?"

"I take I'm about to be told."

"Indeed you are, good sir. 'Kitten - noun. Soft,'" I said, pressing my soft bits against him. "'Cuddly.'" I nuzzled into his neck, kissing his jaw. "'Playful.'" I batted his tie, and gave him a teasing kiss. Pushing back enough I put a finger under his chin, and smiled at him right before half shifting. "'With claws,'" I finished, nicking his chin.

He winced, but didn't move as a bright red drop of blood formed on his chin. "Claws need clipping," he said.

I chuckled softly as I shifted back. Leaning in, I said nothing as I licked the drop of blood from his chin before kissing him. "Be good to the rest of the kitten, and you won't need to worry about the claws."

~ ~ ~

We reached the plane a couple hours after lunch. Eddie was pleased to see Benny and Trigger waiting for us. They were a little surprised when Eddie and I stepped out of the back of the car together with no sign of Vanessa. Eddie "discreetly" waved them off questioning, mouthing "Later" to them as they took our bags and hurried into the plane. I lingered on the runway with him for a moment, pressing against him.

"You know, Tiger. I was thinking about your apologies when you make mistakes. And I think I've come up with a solution to all your problems."

"You have, have you?"

"Mm. Six little words, followed by one refrain. 'It's the little things that count.'" I pressed the tip of his nose with my index finger. "Don't forget that and you'll be perfectly fine."

"It's the little things that count? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Just what the words say. You'll learn."

With that I pulled him to me for a kiss before stepping away and walking up the steps to take my seat. We did, after all, have to keep his next meeting in Germany. I wondered if we would get to eat authentic schnitzel and spaetzle. My stomach growled just as Eddie sat down. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, getting up. When he came back to his seat, he handed me a bottle of juice and a package of chocolate chip cookies.

"Ooo-ee-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah," I smiled as I accepted the snack.

He grinned as he sat down, obviously congratulating himself on a job well done. As I sipped my juice, we took off. I just hoped that Eddie's lesson would stay with him. As much as I was touched by the gifts he had given me, I didn't need expensive trinkets or exotic animals as an apology. Doing something as he had just done was perfectly fine with me.
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